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The Theriot Files

The Theriot Files

You may be wondering.  Why do we need another Theriot Files?  Well, why not?  Tell me one decent reason why not and we’ll never do another one.  Today’s theme music is from the 80s sitcom Perfect Strangers.  Since I have nothing else to say, I’m going to post the mp3 player here on the main page.

The Theriot Files

Click play to enjoy today’s theme music from the 80s television show Knots Landing. 

In last night’s game, runner on 2nd, nobody out, a routine groundball was hit to Ryan Theriot.  Chase Utley did his best by trying to give the Cubs an out by trying to move up to 3rd.  What did Theriot do?  He threw to 1st.  You’d think someone who gets thrown out at 3rd for the very same mistake Utley made would know that it’s an easy out, but that’s why Ryan Theriot is who he is—not a very smart man. 

The Theriot Files

In honor of Ryan Theriot’s 20th TOOTBLAN, we thought we would bring you a special edition of The Theriot Files.  Rather than the typical television theme music, pmayo suggested we use Blue Swede’s Hooked on a Feeling.  Good times.

The Theriot Files

It was mentioned the other day that I should add another installment to the wildly popular and succesful The Theriot Files.  I do as I’m told and The Greatest American Hero was mentioned as possible theme music.  Turns out, as I thought, I had already used that one.  That’s OK.  We can use it again.  Click the play button to listen to today’s theme music.

Over at Wrigleyville23, a proud CBCG member if there ever was one, WV has been tracking a new statistic this season.  It’s sure to become popular.  I have no doubt about that.  The TOOTBLAN measures something very unique. 

The TOOTBLAN (Thrown Out On The Basepaths Like A Nincompoop) was invented here at Wrigleyville23 on May 7, 2008, as a key factor in the groundbreaking statistic RTAOBP (the Ryan Theriot Adjusted On-Base Percentage). As a reminder, RTAOBP is determined thusly:

RTAOBP = (Hits+Walks+HBP-CS-TOOTBLAN)/Plate Appearances (AB+BB+HBP+SF)

The TOOTBLAN has been embraced in some corners of the Interweb - and is rightfully expanding beyond Theriot’s RTAOBP. Poor baserunning is often met with cries of TOOTBLAN! And that makes us feel warm inside.

WV, along with some help, tracked this year’s TOOTBLANs and it turns out he has a whopping 18 of them.  The TOOTBLAN-O-Meter, created by WV, himself…

The Theriot Files

What better theme than Greatest American Hero to play along with one of America’s truly great heroes. 

In 2007, Ryan Theriot made 5 outs on the bases.  This excludes caught stealing and only includes the number of times Ryan Theriot ran into an out on the bases.  5 doesn’t sound like much.  But 6 led the majors.  Ryan Theriot made the 2nd most outs on the bases in baseball during the 2007 season.  Quite an accomplishment for a scrappy gamer like Theriot. 

The Theriot Files

Today’s theme music is from the show Dallas.  Click play and read along.  Enjoy.

In Sunday’s Cubs 6-5 win over the Phillies, Ronny Cedeno and Ryan Theriot were on 1st and 2nd base.  Ronny Cedeno successfully stole 3rd while Ryan Theriot stood and watched the Infield Predator’s scrappy play. 

What’s so bad about this?  I haven’t the foggiest clue.  It just makes me laugh.  The scrappiest of scrappy players didn’t even see scrappy play unfolding before his very own eyes. 

The Theriot Files

CCD mentioned that this series reminds him of The Rockford Files and I’ve been thinking for several days that this really needed some theme music so here you go.  Click play and listen while you read today’s epidose.

A lot is made of Ryan Theriot’s excellent plate discipline by the media and fans.  We of course know this is nonsense. 

In 2007, Ryan Theriot saw 3.53 pitches per plate appearance (P/PA).  Theriot saw fewer pitches per plate appearance than all but 4 Cubs who had at least 50 at-bats.  A few of the players above him:  Felix Pie, Henry Blanco, Jason Marquis, Ronny Cedeno and Koyie Hill.  You know, the real patient hitters on the team.  The 4 players with fewer P/PA?  Ted Lilly, Cesar Izturis, Rich Hill and Carlos Zambrano. 

That’s right.  Among Cubs players with at least 50 at-bats in 2007, the only position player who saw fewer pitches was Cesar Izturis, the man who Theriot replaced. 

Theriot so saw few pitches last season that among all MLB players with 500 or more plate appearances he ranked 140th out of 162.  Among players with 400 or more PA, Theriot ranked 184th out of 216. Among all players with 50 plate appearances or more, Theriot ranks 424th out of 543.  Only 120 players in Major League Baseball last season, most NL starting pitchers included, saw fewer pitches than Ryan Theriot did. 

The Theriot Files

The Theriot Files was wildly successful when I first began the series after Ryan Theriot was inserted into the leadoff spot.  I said at that time I’d keep posting something about Theriot every day until he was removed from the leadoff spot and the next day he was.  This time I’m going to run this series until the guy is taken out of the everyday lineup.  The guy is worthless.  Today’s stat is his batting line so far this year:  .216/.293/.243.  He is down to hitting 8th now, but I won’t be happy until he’s out of the lineup. 

“The Theriot Files” a huge success

Just one day after starting a daily post called The Theriot Files, Lou Piniella has come to his senses and removed Theriot from the leadoff spot.  Soriano will be put back in the leadoff spot where he should never have been taken out of without a much, much, much better alternative than Ryan Theriot. 

So, when I complain, Lou listens.  And acts fast.

Hey, Lou, Ryan Theriot in the 8th spot would be really cool.  Thanks in advance.

Unfortunately, this beloved series was cut short with only a pilot episode, though I couldn’t be happier.  I apologize to all the readers who were eagerly anticipating tonight’s edition of The Theriot Files.  I have placed a link to The Theriot Files under the header ACB on the sidebar for all of you to reminisce at a later date.

The Theriot Files

Since Ryan Theriot is our leadoff hitter, I felt that it couldn’t hurt anything to have a daily post about the incompetence of this man.  It’s one thing if he’s batting 8th, but when he’s the worst hitter on this team and you decide he needs more plate appearances than any other member of this team, well, it’s just stupid.  Until Theriot is removed from the leadoff spot I’ll post something each night.

Our new leadoff hitter went 0-5 with 2 K’s and saw 4 pitches in each at-bat.  DJ predicted it each time up.  We should make a game out of this.  Predict how many pitches he’ll see in each at-bat before he comes to the plate.